


Somehow I Could Find My Way Back

by irelandhoneybee



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post Season 2, Pre Defenders, headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 19:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15847602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irelandhoneybee/pseuds/irelandhoneybee
Summary: Karen immediately after the conversation with Matt where he tells her he's Daredevil





	Somehow I Could Find My Way Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [irondevilpunisher](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=irondevilpunisher).



> From tumblr prompt: Karen's reaction to Matt being Daredevil

She has no idea how long she’s been walking. She has no particular destination in mind. She’s barely aware of the chill in the air. 

Her head is spinning. Everything she had questioned and speculated about for so long suddenly made perfect sense. And yet, at the same time, nothing made sense. 

Matt was Daredevil. 

She almost hadn’t gone to meet him. She had gone back and forth for hours on whether or not she should. It would have served him right if she simply hadn’t shown up. But in the end, curiosity had gotten the better of her. That, and the fact that she missed him so badly it had become a physical ache. 

The only word that had come out of her mouth after he pulled the mask out of the paper bag and told her who he was had been “how”.

She had listened intently as he described the accident that had robbed him of his sight had left him with extremely heightened senses, about being able to read people by their heartbeats. As he described what his world was really like, all of the little things that she had almost completely forgotten about came to the forefront of her mind: the times he had seemed to know before she did that she was hot or cold, or didn’t feel well, every time she had described something to him, now knowing it hadn’t been needed at all, immediately followed by a sense of embarrassment that he had been able to tell every single time her heart had beat faster in his presence

Matt had then started insisting that he was giving the whole thing up. About how he had become so preoccupied with his alter ego he had lost her, had lost Foggy, had lost the practice. 

He told her that while at first he had thought he was really making a difference, he had lately come to believe the opposite was true. And that being Daredevil brought out something in him that he didn’t like. It caused him to hate himself. It had completely taken over his life, and he didn’t want to be that person anymore. He wanted his life, his regular life, back. 

Karen had stayed silent while he had talked. He revealed a lot, but at the same time, she got the feeling there were things he wasn’t telling her. He briefly talked about the woman she had found in his bed and the old man who had answered the door when she had gone over to his place on that awful night, that seemed to be burned in her memory. 

He told her how sorry he was; that he hated how he had pushed her and Foggy away, again insisting that was all over, he was hanging up the vigilante life for good. That he didn’t expect or deserve her forgiveness, he just needed her to know the truth.

Karen had thanked him, and she meant it. The fact that he trusted her with this meant the world to her. But it was a lot to wrap her head around. Matt had asked if he could walk her home. And before she even knew what she was saying, she had declined. She saw the look of disappointment cross his face, and that was almost enough to make her change her mind. Almost. She even opened her mouth wanting to tell him that yes, he could walk her home. But instead she found herself telling him that she needed some space. That they should both try to figure themselves out. It was like an out-of-body experience. She didn’t even know if she really meant it. But before she could say anything else, Matt was nodding, telling her he understood, that it was a lot to take in,that of course she needed time. 

Matt had turned to leave, but before he did, Karen was calling his name, moving towards him, and pulling him into a hug. She let go after only a minute because she knew if she didn’t she’d never pull away. She quickly grabbed her purse and told him she should go, trying like hell to hold back the sob that was threatening to escape. He told her he would lock up, and all she could do was nod. 

She had taken a deep breath the moment she got outside, tears coming to her eyes. And then she had started walking, not paying any attention to her surroundings. All of the times she had seen Daredevil in action sprang to mind. There was no question he knew what he was doing. She would never forget her first encounter with him. She thought about it all of the time, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen saving her life and then flipping around in the rain, beating the hell out of that asshole who had been sent to kill her. And then just a few weeks ago, when he had saved everyone in the warehouse. A warm feeling rushed through her as she remembered how he had checked to make sure she was ok and caressed her face. That encounter took on a whole new meaning now that she knew that had been Matt. 

And then she remembered the countless times she had seen Matt with cuts and bruises, the times he had a noticeable limp, the times some cut of his would start bleeding. And the time she had taken him that stupid balloon, how he had been so banged up it had hurt just to look at him. 

Matt had been adamant that he was done with Daredevil. The thought saddened her; she had always believed in what he was doing. But she cared about Matt more than she cared about Daredevil. And if Matt didn’t want to do it anymore, if he believed it was bad for him, Karen would support that decision. 

She glanced around, noticing she was only a few blocks from her apartment. She started to realize that what she had told him about needing space was true. As badly as she missed him, she needed time to process everything. What she had learned today had lessened her anger towards him, but she couldn’t deny that she was still angry. She didn’t know how to be around him right now. She was incredibly happy that he had opened up to her. That had taken guts. She didn’t know if she’d ever be ready to do the same, opening up to him about her secrets. She shook her head to shake that train of thought away; she couldn’t even begin think about that right now. 

The fact that he had finally told her his secret must mean that he was finally done lying to her. That was certainly a relief. But at the same time, she couldn’t forget how badly he had hurt her. 

She entered her apartment, heading straight for the fridge. She needed a drink. She took it in one shot, and poured herself another. Yes, she thought to herself, space would be good. She wanted Matt in her life; not having him in it was almost unbearable. But she needed time to sort out her feelings. 

She picked up her phone. A part of her wanted to call Matt, to tell him to come over so they could talk some more, maybe even open a bottle of wine. But she quickly pushed the thought away. She wasn’t ready for that yet. Instead she scrolled through her contact list, selecting a number, and brought the phone to her ear. 

She let out a small sigh of relief when he answered.

“Hey Foggy. I’m sorry, I know it’s Christmas Eve. But are you busy?”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Cosmic Love" by Florence + the Machine


End file.
